Thinking of Adding a Second Child to Your Family? What is the Best Age Gap?

• Author: Jacob Greene
• Posted: 2024-10-08

If you are thinking about adding a second child to your family, one of the chief thoughts you may be having is how far apart to space your kids. While you are likely to get a host of different answers depending on who you ask, there are a few universal truths to consider when making this decision. Here are some things to think about when figuring out the ideal age gap for your family.

Pros of Kids Close in Age

Some families prefer to power through the child-bearing years. There are certainly some advantages to having your kids close in age. Rather than dealing with sleep deprivation for years on end, you can get it all done in a shorter period of time so that you can get on with living a more normal life. By compressing all of this into a shorter span, you will get over the stress of those early years in parenting. While it may be more difficult during this period, you will put it behind you more quickly. As a bonus, you will get rid of that baby gear taking up space in your home sooner.

It is also a benefit to the kids to have a sibling that is closer to their own age. They will always have a playmate around if their siblings are within the same general age frame. This is especially beneficial on vacations and during summer breaks. They will also be more likely to be at the same school for more years if they are closer in age, making it easier for a parent to juggle their schedules.

Cons of Kids Close in Age

With these advantages come a fair amount of drawbacks. There is no getting around the fact that your life is going to be extremely chaotic for a time as you slog through these years. If you are a working parent, you also may be paying a significant amount in daycare costs as well as the possibility of two university tuitions at the same time. Conversely, if you are a working mom, you may find it difficult to advance your career with maternity leaves that are not spaced far apart.

As a mom, it can be difficult to feel like yourself if you do not have a lot of time between pregnancies to recover. This feeling will be exacerbated if you are nursing.

Pros of Kids Not as Close in Age

Families that choose to space their children apart in age are generally more rested and ready to take on the challenge of a newborn when the second child arrives. In addition, it also feels easier to spend dedicated time with the new baby if the oldest child is already in school with their own regular routine. This can benefit both the new baby and the older sibling.

Kids that are spaced further apart are also less likely to be ultra-competitive with one another. They are not always competing for the attention of their parents since they are at different stages in life.

You may also find that the eldest sibling can be a huge help with the younger child if the age gap is large enough. Depending on the gap, you may even have a built-in babysitter.

Cons of Kids Not as Close in Age

On the other side of the coin, you are only drawing out the baby and toddler years by putting more space in between your kids. Rather than living life in a blur for a short period of time, you may feel sleep-deprived for a decade.

It is also more difficult to juggle different schedules and schools when your kids are vastly different ages. This can make it more difficult to return to the workforce with your full attention. Some families find it harder to please everyone in the family when the kids are at completely different stages of life, making family outings and vacations more difficult to plan.

At the end of the day, what is good for one family might not be the best choice for another. How far in age to space your kids is a highly personal decision that should be made with your personal needs and situation in mind.